i don’t know when it started. i don’t know when everything started to just fall apart inside me.maybe it always been there and i’ve been trying to push through it, or maybe it slowly came on me and i didn’t notice. but nothing matters anymore. very few things i actually care about. its tuesday and i haven’t gone to school yet and the thought of walking the halls with all those people that don’t give a fuck, it scares me. i have to go though. if i don’t go today, i don’t go to practice and cheerleading is honestly the only thinking that makes me happy. not even exaggerating a little bit.
i need this to go away. this ache in my chest needs to stop. no one cares if your miserable, so you might as well be happy.. but what happens when happiness isn’t enough because for me, it isn’t. it comes and goes now and i don’t know how to push anymore. my strength is gone, i’ve used it all up. i cant take care of everyone and save everyone else anymore. i need someone to save me this time.
